Friday, February 23, 2007

The Mommy Returns

Be afraid, be very afraid.

I've been practicing the eye-rolling and the exasperated sighing, only this time, the problem is likely to be slightly bigger than grimy masala bottles or recalcitrant maids.

I am being interrogated as to why, after a whole year of being married, I do not have anything substantial (i.e. a baby. or two, or three) to show for it.

My mother is strangely obsessed with babies. Strangely, I say, because people, she has had *five* of her own. Five. And like that's not enough? She now has four grandchildren. It seems that no matter how many babies there are in her immediate vicinity, there is always room for more*.

And whose job is it to fill up the empty-baby spaces? You guessed it! Yours truly.

Now, Yours Truly is rather partial to the creatures; she loves their little pudgy hands, their toothless grins and their small wiggly-ness, but has seen enough of them to know that babies are just little bundles of TNT, camouflaged in cuteness.

So while she might someday be persuaded to see her present life collapse like a house of cards, (only to be picked up, chewed, and drooled over), today is not that day.

And the next three years don't look like it either.


*You could stick my mother in a room full of babies and over the gurgling and crying and cooing, you would still hear her saying, "Send in the babies! We need more babies!!"

7 comments:

Revealed said...

Heheheh. It's the universal Mommy thing. Once a Mommy always a Mommy, and the more babies to Mommy the merrier and so on :D.

(and if I think of any more clever incorporations of Mommy into banalities I shall return with a *vengeance*)

Also, I notice W.V is on *sigh*. (chnkyalc = chunky almond calories. See what I told you about the subliminal messages!)

J. Alfred Prufrock said...

Bebbeh, bebbeh, phor vhy yu not vant more bebbeh?

Did you know that for the first YEAR they CONTINUOUSLY leak from BOTH ends? And that for the next year you can't really be sure either?

NOW go talk to your Mm and ask her whether you can produce and farm out the product with her. And meet them when they're about 30 and all human.

J.A.P.

Vulturo said...

*You could stick my mother in a room full of babies and over the gurgling and crying and cooing, you would still hear her saying, "Send in the babies! We need more babies!!"

LMAO!

Ph said...

You want help with the eye-rolling and the sighing -- ask my 11 year old. Shes become quite the expert.

Protegeoflife said...

Hi , which mother doesnt like babies and thats y they are mommy. I like babies too they are angels on earth only living being where u see peace and calm in this stress world any ways told u r gr888 writer keep it up

Spazsim Chasm said...

hilarious. i love the p.s - send in the babies! we need more babies...

Chronicus Skepticus said...

Revealed: Really? All of them do it? You wouldn't happen to know if it's contagious would you?

And as for the WV, apologies. But if you notice, nobody's offering me viagra anymore. :)

J.A.P: Well you've half answered the question yourself haven't you? As for the outsourcing, she only likes them till they're about four, after that? They're your problem (by which, of course, I mean *my* problem, not yours. as in, not JAP's problem. She's not that twisted).

Vulturo: Oh sure, laugh away. I'll wait till your mommy starts making these bizarre demands. And then I'll laugh.

Ph: Eleven, huh? I'm torn between admiration and horror. At eleven, I was still relatively brain-dead. I hadn't even heard of the eye-roll till I was fifteen.

You just might have a genius in the house!

PoL: 'Babies are angels'??

There speaks a man who has obviously never had to dance/make airplane noises/pull funny faces just to get a spoonful of cerelac into a mouth, only to have it sneezed back into his face!

Spazsim Chasm: Well, I'm glad it made somebody laugh.

Btw, what does your name mean?