Friday, October 09, 2009

Mapmaker, mapmaker, go find another cause, ok?

It seems that people will still insist on giving me directions even after I tell them I'm navigation impaired. Even after I tell them that I'm just nodding intelligently to make them feel better and nothing they say is actually making sense to me.

I'm wondering if there's something I should do to deal with this. Sticking my fingers in my ears and going lalaalalalaa! is likely to be ineffective, as is an honest admission, so I'm thinking, the next time someone attempts to tell me how to get someplace (despite my cries for mercy), here's what I'm going to do:

1. Listen very attentively. Like, super attentively. Focus my eyes right on their mouths and follow the movements of their tongues. And then frown, like I don't understand why their tongues are moving that way.

2. Lean in, look deep into their eyes and in my huskiest, I-want-you-NOW* voice, say, "Did you mean 'left from Senapati Bapat Marg'?"

3. Smile brightly. Then look away, hurt. Then giggle. Rinse and repeat.

Okay, that's all I've got.


Although anyone who knows me well knows I will have to work REALLY hard at this. Wanting someone usually just reduces me to a goggle-eyed, incoherent, gawkward mess.

11 comments:

rebel said...

I don't follow directions either.. Never..

I don't know landmarks, I forget the second left and I miss the tiny lane between two petrol pumps..

I thank every single autowallah who has helped me reach my destination intact and on time..

Scherezade said...

I don't the good god intended for us to follow directions else we'd all have Mapquest fitted in your ankles of something.
Heh.

Scherezade said...

think*
(What irony!)

Scherezade said...

And I moved here - subworst.wordpress.com
Hope you visit!

Chronicus Skepticus said...

Rebel:
You know, I actually *do* try to follow them but my brain just freezes up after the first two and then hopelessly muddles the rest of 'em.

And gosh yes, I don't know what I would do without the Bombay autowallas / cabbies!


Scherezade:
Finally, *somebody* understands!

C'mere you!
(smooshy hug)

DewdropDream said...

yeah but what about giving directions? do ya enjoy that?

Revealed said...

You are the sister I never had (except I have sisters and they're both really good with directions, perish them - so you ARE the map-challenged sister I never had, yay!).

Gypsy Girl said...

Oh i follow directions... but i have my left and right confused .. so i never end up in the right place!!! :)

Bea Walker said...

hehehe...sometimes the fun is in getting lost....and I don't mean in the bad way either....suggestion - one can be a google eyed, incoherent, gawkward mess and blather in a husky I-want-you-NOW voice :)...never say die even as a puddle of passion :) glad you are posting again, had stopped checking lately with great disappointment.

Bea Walker said...

* goggle eyed - yes, yes, to stop cries of infringement, bah :)

Scherezade said...

The name is not exotic at all actually. Its terribly difficult to pronounce and people anticipate something out of the Arabian desert when they hear the name. And I am as far away from that as can be.
I have two names - sort of a compromise between mum and dad since they were separated by the time I was born and then insisted on plastering their respective cultural identity on me.
Heh!