Take ginormous coffee mug, one in number.
From coffee machine, add two small cups of coffee and two cups of hot water. (Yes, in the same mug. No, don’t argue).
From your secret stash of emergency caffeine supplies, measure out two heaped tablespoons of instant coffee (It’s repulsive, I know, but the secret stash has no room for a coffee machine and coffee grounds. Although wouldn’t that be great?).
Purchase packet of hide and seek from crazy canteen lady (Meena).
Into the ginormous mug with the coffee-water-coffee mixture, crumble three hide-and-seeks. Make sure you crumble only the biscuit part and leave the chocolate chips intact (trust me, you’ll thank me for it later).
Stir and sip, stir and sip, stir and sip.
When you’ve finished all the liquid (and got a mother of a sugar-and-caffeine high), spoon out the cookie-sludge from the bottom of the cup. Enjoy the coffee-tinged-cerelac flavour until you come across a chocolate chip (or two). Feel them dissolve on your tongue and send delicious cocoa-and-sugar messages via your neurons to your brain.
*Or, How to completely gross out the coffee purists.
**At least until the high wears off. Then you’ll be yawning like the dickens.