Wednesday, April 23, 2008

2008 - The Year of the Nerd

So, the Boss-crush. Like most workplace crushes, it was awkward, embarrassing and very, very inconvenient. There was perfect coherence as long as we were discussing work but anything else - anything at all, the weather, travel plans, hell, a simple 'hello' - and I was back to being thirteen, tongue-tied and incapable of constructing complete sentences. He just had to pass by me in a corridor and I'd be reduced to a fiercely blushing mass of utter stupidity.

And I don't get it, I just don't get it! The man was (is, actually, but I don't work there anymore) a complete and utter nerd. He had the standard issue nerd-glasses, the weird, high-pitched voice, the lanky, disjointed Pinocchio-walk, but all he had to do was smile and I'd be marvelling at the way his eyes went all twinkly and how his teeth were *just* like 'thirty-two hand-picked chiclets' (Summer of '42 anyone?). And OH when he rolled up his shirtsleeves* and got to work...*dreamy sigh*

And he had the most efficient mental-rolodex I've ever come across. You could walk up to him with any sort of question - tech, content, graphics, code - and you could almost see the cards flipping in fast-forward (and totally making that 'vrrrroooossh!' sound) as he came up with the exact, perfect, without-a-single-superfluous-detail answer to your question. Not the kind of guy you want to look like an idiot in front of, but that's what I did. Inevitably. Every single time he walked past.

THEN there were the highly inappropriate dreams. (No. Not 'fun' inappropriate, just...weird). In one of them, S (colleague, female, motherly), Boss and I are sitting in a hotel lobby. I’m wearing some sort of a halter-neck-y top, which has officially put imagination out of a job. Somehow, all three of us realise just HOW skimpy it is at exactly the same time, and while S subtly whispers in my ears about how maybe I should try and fix the fabric shortage, Boss, absolutely unfazed, actually *points* and said, "Yeah, you know you need to cover up a little. I can see real spillage happening THERE."

So in addition to the crush-induced-embarrassment, every time he walked past my cubicle I'd relive the stupid dream and get even more flustered. The poor chap must've wondered whether beet-red-and-stammering was default-CS**.

It’s all making me wonder if this drastic shift in type is a result of my err…advancing years. See, my teens were spent in the pursuit of surly, sulky boys, my twenties, the artists — singers, guitarists and the odd poet (Not, not odd as in ‘one-off’. Really odd). The thirties are showing worrying signs of being declared as the decade of the nerds.

That, or as Billy Joel said, ‘I've reached the age where competence is a turn-on.’

(Also, apparently, the age at which you start quoting Billy Joel.)


*Yes, I have a thing for rolled up shirtsleeves. No, I can't explain it.
** If he ever noticed my existence, that is…damn him.

18 comments:

iz said...

I L-O-V-E this post. So well-written! good to have you back after long sleep.

Smokin Joe said...

I so wish I was your boss and reading itall this... *sigh*

??! said...

Heyyy, why go halfway. You should have told him about the dream. In which case, every time you saw him, you'd wonder if he was visualising the dream, thus fazing you even more.

Kuch karo, to theek so karo.

Sougata said...

See, my teens were spent in the pursuit of surly, sulky boys, my twenties, the artists — singers, guitarists and the odd poet (Not, not odd as in ‘one-off’. Really odd). The thirties are showing worrying signs of being declared as the decade of the nerds.


See, this is the problem with you women. Can never make up your minds, can you, o ye of ever changing tastes and ever fickle crushes.

We men, on the other hand, are so constant, please note. From the ages of ten to ninety, we faithfully pursue only one type: bimbos with big chi-chas.

Wafa koi humse seekhe.

IdeaSmith said...

Darling! The rolled-up shirtsleeves!!! Oooooh....aaah...ouch (that's moi bumping my head on the chair after swooning).

When I meet you, I'll wear full sleeves rolled up...err, this isn't gender-specific, is it?

P2C2U said...

Oooh! Got a weakness for the rolled-up shirtsleeves myself. And it isn't just the 30s. I'm in my twenties and have got a massive crush on a nerd. Every time he tells me how I can prevent my computer from crashing or about his thesis, it's all I can do to stop myself from swooning.

Mithun said...

hehe..lovely post..
so there is still hope for the nerds..

mental notes:
roll up sleeves, act brainy...got it ;)

Chronicus Skepticus said...

Izzy:
You’re too nice. But thank you, and it’s good to be back.

By the way, I loved your post on Paris’ err…’nuptials’. AND the one on your sister – I have three of those (although only one of them is the redwood-variety), and I identified with it completely!


Smokin Joe:
In a weird, warped way, that makes the two of us. *sigh*

??!:
Bataao. As if I was even remotely coherent when he was around.

And hey, what the hell kind of advice is that anyway?!

Sougata:
Heh, that was the funniest comment ever.

Also, this "Wafa koi humse seekhe..." reminded me of a sher I once heard:

(Irshaad)

”Jafaa unki fitrat, wafa apni aadat...
Na vo baaz aaen, na hum baaz aaen."
:D

IdeaSmith:
Okay, I did NOT know that there were SO many wimmin with the rolled-up-shirtsleeve fetish!

Also, I wonder how many men know of this?

And smithy, you silly, silly girl, WE’RE on with or *without* shirtsleeves (rolled up or otherwise). ;D

P2C2U:
Hello and welcome!

As for the nerds, they’re dreamy aren’t they? You should totally swoon. At least once. The only thing cuter than a nerd with his sleeves rolled up, is a *flustered* nerd with his sleeves rolled up. :D

What does you name mean?

Mithun:
Hello and thank you. :)

And as for this, "So there is still hope..." well, this year at least (on this blog, at least).

??! said...

se, se...not so. Stupidme.

sougata said...

”Jafaa unki fitrat, wafa apni aadat...
Na vo baaz aaen, na hum baaz aaen."


Wah, wah, er...

* Flips through his Urdu to Bengali dictionary, muttering, "Jaw-faa? Jaw-faa? Ei Jaw-faa aabar ki re baba? .... O acchaa!" *

Wah, wah.

Phantasmagoria said...

Wonders what the heck happened here. Whatever it may be, its good to have you back. :)

Mystique Wanderer said...

what would the world be like if there weren't any variety around....nerds have their fan following too :)

Chronicus Skepticus said...

Ph: You too woman. It’s been *ages*.

Mystique Wanderer: So I see!
And you know what's even more worrying? I now know THREE other women who have crushes on MY ex-boss-nerd.

Most disturbing, it all is!

J. Alfred Prufrock said...

One lives and learns.

And gives thanks for the peace of old age.

J.A.P.

Beth said...

Oh yes, the nerd love is strong.

Unfortunately, here in the US, at least, there is the common misconception among many nerds and other not-hunky guys that women don't like nice guys - when in fact what they really mean is "Playboy bunnies don't pay attention to me" and don't realize that either 1) only foolish women like not-nice guys and why would you want to date someone stupid?, 2) lots of women like them but said women may not fit Sougata's description, or 3) they've mistaken "quiet" or "unpopular" for "nice," when really they aren't necessarily the same, because being quiet could mean they have poor social skills, are cowardly, are secretly plotting to blow up the building, etc.

As for shirtsleeves, hells yeah, ever since I was 18 and took a philosophy course.

Somebody Else said...

The sisterhood raises its hands and says Aye!
Rolled-up-sleeves are Ooooooooh!

tangled said...

Especially if it's a shirt that's a little loose. And there are large hands at the end of the arms.
eeeeeeeee, I could just die.
When I used to visit IIT Chennai for their fests, I'd sit in on the quizzes because the collective brain power was such a turn-on. ^_^

First-time commenter says: your blog is incredible! :)

Mudra said...

I have a thing for rolled up shirtsleeves too! It's inexplicable.