By this gentleman, so any questions or protests on the lines of 'Did we *really* need to know that??', and 'Overshare! Overshare!!' are to be directed straight to him.
So, eight random facts about me.
1) You know that idiotic make-a-wish-on-a-fallen-eyelash thing that girls in Hindi movies do? Yeah well, guess what. I know, I know, totally pathetic. But look, I shook off some nineteen years of extreme religion - I'm entitled to one tiny equally baseless belief? Think of it as a nicotine patch of sorts, it might seem a little more tolerable.
When I was a kid, I had a mental picture of this silver-bearded old man, sitting on a pile of clouds, hunched over his worktable, prising open eyelashes with a pair of microscopic tweezers. The eyelash would then roll open scroll-like, and written on it would be the wish you'd made. I have no idea who I should blame for this.
2) I hate long nails. On myself, that is. I completely envy women with slender hands, tipped with perfectly manicured nails (the bitches), but it drives me nuts if mine grow long enough that I can feel the edges.
3) I once dated a neanderthal who said - "मैं चाहूंगा कि मेरी बीवी मुझे कम से कम एक वक़्त का खाना बना के खिलाये" - I was horrified, and argued till I was blue in the face, but I did not dump him. Well, not right away at least.
4) I people-watch to the point where the watchees begin to worry. It's not deliberate - I don't mean to make them uncomfortable, but the thing is that after a while, it's just my eyes that are focused on them; my brain has run off to pick daisies. When the brain comes back from her flower-picking, we have a good laugh about it. And then they (the watchees) worry even more.
5) I hate being tickled.
6) I cannot smoke. I've tried to, oh about a hundred times till date, but I always end up coughing and wheezing like a chain-smoking asthmatic. Oh and pot? Same difference.
7) My second toe is longer (taller? higher? faster? stronger?) than my big toe (on both feet). Superstition says that a woman with this particular toe-configuration will lord over her husband. Superstition is a lying bitch.
8) I think boobs are a bad design feature. Really. I think I might've even been lesbian if it weren't for boobs.
Done! Now I'm supposed pass on the tag to eight people but I'm fairly sure that only four out of eight will do it, so here goes:
Izzy (who I think has done this before but so what, tell us eight more things)
Revealed
Beth
The Ideasmithy
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
oh i believe you.
About Me
- Chronicus Skepticus
- Mumbai, Maharashtra, India
- Editor. Feminist. One-woman flash mob. Panic flirt. President, Fight-or-Flight Club.
14 comments:
LOL I really loved this post! Some thoughts:
1. You have an extremely vivid imagination. And that is a compliment.
2. I hate long nails as well. On myself and on other people. Apart from the fact that I can't keep all ten fingernails at the same length there's the irritating feeling of them hitting the keyboard when I type. And on others...ah well, we prefer sharp tongues to sharp nails :-p
3. Stupid man. I hope you at least got him a cookbook before you left.
4. Let's go people-watching together. My brain needs some good company on its soujourns..and I'm getting too old to run after it.
5. So do I!
6, 7, 8 - HAHAHAHAHA!
Okay now you have a non-tagged taggee zabardasti posting in your comments section!
Ditto for 5. But for some reason everytime you tell someone that they take it upon themselves to convert you. Morons.
the trick with tickling is to do it to yourself - bit by bit - and you slowly get immune to it. bit tricky at first, but it's worth the effort of having people poke fingers at you and then sneering at their feebleness
I have so been there and done that. But let me tell you this: I too hate having long fingernails - I owe this to a piano teacher who fussed at me when I was 13 or so, and though my career as a concert pianist is entirely fictional, I never wanted long nails after that. I do always paint my toenails, though. I've never smoked in my life, not once; my second toe is shorter than my first toe on my right foot but longer on the left, which probably explains a few things; and I'm with you on 8, because they're totally inconvenient, and all the men can just shut up, because what do they know.
cook the pot.
Tame stuff. Learn from Cosmo.
I know I haven't commented here for a while. But *this*?! *this*?!!! as your revenge????!!!
Dya even have a heart, madam? *stares grimly with cold eyes while sticking the finger of shame directly in CS' face*
Shabbash beti! jug-jug jiyo! and you know what comes after that...you know may you have loads of bachas and stuff. Thank you. And I knew you'd have a rocking post like this! loved it! more on that neanderthal I say more on him!
babes. I've done this twice. If I do it again. People might stop reading. But I will do a version of this. Just because you asked.
Hilarious ...
Smithy: Awww, you're so sweet, thank you!
I didn't get him a cookbook; why waste a good cookbook? Picking my battles and all of that.
We should totally go people-watching. Haha! Think of the effect *two* stare-ers would have on the population at large!
Oh and by the way, you've been tagged too (a little late, but please?).
Ph: GOD, that is annoying! Somebody should give these men a handbook.
??!: But you *can't* tickle yourself...can you?
Beth: Curses! Foiled again!
Still, it's good to find someone who agrees with me about point 8. Stupid men.
Also, the toe-thing? It probably means you are a nice, *balanced* individual. If toes are supposed to have a deeper meaning at all. :D
Tabula Rasa: 'Cook the pot'? How d'you mean?
AQC: Darling, I do believe you've mistaken me for someone else! This young lady, perhaps?
Revealed: Well what was I supposed to do? You'd vanished without a trace and honestly, how many times was I s'posed to read that last episode of the RCW chronicles?
Say, you have a 'Finger of Shame'? Fascinating! :D
Bombay Addict: Main kya, thank you sir. I am totally playing with the ends of my dupatta. :D
Izzy: You have?? Odd, huccome I haven't read any of 'em yet?
But you are a doll for doing it *yet* again. Mwwuaah!
R: Thank you. :)
Hey you! We are freakishly alike, except for 2 and 6.
tr: cook the pot!
i once made pav-bhaji using pot. needless to say, we did NOT move for hours together. it's insane.
you must do it, chronicus. good girl.
The Cloudcutter: So...we're pickle too? :D
Scout: Just one problem, I don't know how to make pav bhaji.
Will omelettes do?
Post a Comment