Friday, January 19, 2007

He Gives Me Fever.

Where have all the good diseases gone?

Y'know the ones when a girl simply wasted away into a wisp of her former self?

And it's not like I never had them, I did. A whole series of them, in fact. When I was EIGHT. And looked like a stick insect with eyes. When 'overweight' and 'diet' were words which would have elicited nothing more than a supremely blank expression* and tyres were the things that cars moved on. THAT'S when the immune system thought, "Hey! Let's let in all these glorious germs and so what if she doesn't have an extra ounce on her!"

But now, NOW when I could do with a bit (oh alright a *good* bit) of wasting away, what does the immune-system go and get? The goddamn sniffles. So now I have the temperature, the assorted aches and pains, the blocked nose and the sore throat - what I don't have though, is ANY AMOUNT OF WEIGHT-LOSS WHATSOEVER.

I want my money back.


*Although to be honest, 'supremely blank' was pretty much the default expression for most of my childhood. NOT the most 'with it' kid in our brood, the parents would have said**.

** With a puzzled 'I wonder where we went wrong with this one' expression on their faces.

11 comments:

Beth said...

Whenever I have the flu or a cold, I like to say I have consumption. Everyone has heard of it, and it has a delightful, upper-crust, nineteenth-century feel to it - yet very few people know what it actually is. Mysterious and sympathy-enducing - hurrah!

Revealed said...

Tsk! Never give money to those virus-gangs! Didn't your mum tell you that?

IdeaSmith said...

Awww...poor girl. *HUGGGZZZ* This nasty virus is in the air and affecting everyone.

However, I don't think you need to lose weight and I really think you should stop wishing all those awful diseases on yourself! Curl up in bed with a good book and a steaming cup of tea (or coffee) and enjoy the weekend!

Chronicus Skepticus said...

Beth:
"I have consumption." Beth, that *rocks*! I can almost imagine myself pale and wan, yet forcing myself to embroider one last rose, even though my needle feels 'so heavy'...*sigh*

What fun! :D

Revealed: I don't know, she might have. I *did* mention the supreme-blankness-that-was-me, did I not?

Also, does that mean I won't get it back??

Smithy: No no! My point was that since I am sick anyway, why couldn't it just be something which made me lose weight?

Oh and for this '...I don't think you need to lose weight...'? You're my *best* friend!
Mwuuaah! :D

J. Alfred Prufrock said...

Tsk! Why moan, child? If you think you aren't quality (mind you, we're not agreeing here), then why not concentrate on quantity?

Would you rather be thin or happy?!

J.A.P.

crab said...

Hope you feel better soon CS! :-)

Ph said...

Thin, of course. With perfect teeth and gorgeous hair. Need you ask JAP?

Chronicus Skepticus said...

J.A.P: You are RUDE. :P

And just fyi, thin=happy. At least for now.

Crab: I am now, thank you.:)

Ph: *sigh* What do we do with him?

n said...

heh. i've wondered about that too. Where do I go for a refund?

n said...

heh. i've wondered about that too. Where do I go for a refund?

n said...

heh. i've wondered about that too. Where do I go for a refund?